How you doing all my basketball madness not guilty fans. Steven R. Adams here from It’s our time of year again, basketball tournament madness.

When you’re out there drinking and having a lot of fun cheering your team on in the tournament, make sure that you take Uber or take Lyft.

Don’t drive, but if you do drive, remember this you’re on the road to your tournament for freedom. And how does the underdog get the big win? Defense. Lockdown defense against the po-po.

I’m going to teach you how to put your best defense forward so that the po-po doesn’t score points against you. And I’m going to give you tips on how you score points and it’s a matchup for your freedom. Remember, we don’t want your basketball madness to turn into sadness so listen up.

All right folks, in the world of basketball, the highest percentage shot is a slam dunk. With a DUI, what’s the slam dunk? A chemical test, a breath test, a pee-pee test, or a blood test. How can you squat and block the po-po slam dunk? It’s easy, choose to refuse the government junk science. Don’t give a breath test, don’t give a blood test, and don’t give a pee-pee test. Block that shot!

Of course, basketball fans, the three-point shot is a big winner-winner chicken dinner for a lot of teams. A lot of good players have a good three-point shot, but you have the ability to block and swat the po-po’s three-point shot. You see the three-point shot for the po-po. What’s that?  It’s those roadside field sobriety tests based on government junk science—those goofy roadside gymnastics known as a horizontal gaze nystagmus test. That’s when the cop takes a pen and goes back and forth and up and down. The walk and turn test and the one-leg stand test. That’s the cops’ three-point shot. How do you swat and block it? Well again folks, it’s easy. Choose to refuse, then the cop can’t put up a three-point shot. You have effectively played great defense to prevent him from scoring that three-point shot.

Also folks, don’t forget about the two-point shot. What’s the two-point shot in the world of DUI and the po-po? Well, the two-point shot is having an open container in your car. So, how do you prevent that shot? How do you swat block that shot? Don’t put an open container in your car! Throw it away!

Another shot is the jump shot. What do I consider the jump shot in a game of DUI? Well, the cops go to smell alcohol. The cops going to ask, "Have you been drinking tonight?"

How do you handle that question? Well, you don’t want to lie. But, you don’t want to say you’re drinking either. So, what do you say? How do you swat and block that jump shot that the police officer is going to try to make? You say, “Officer, before I say or do anything I want to talk to my favorite basketball madness attorney Steven R. Adams.”

Now folks, free throws. What are free throws in the game of a DUI and a po-po? Free throws are things like the odor of alcohol, watery bloodshot eyes, and slurred speech. I’ve been in this business for 27 years I’ve never read in my career as a prosecutor or a defense attorney any police report that didn’t have what I call the Holy Po-Po Trilogy. Those three things; odor, watery bloodshot eyes, and slurred speech. If you’re blocking the three-point shots, if you’re blocking and swatting the slam dunks into two-point shots and layups, you’re in a good position to win your tournament for your freedom.

Now that you played great defense and you’re blocking all the po-po shots, how can you score points? Well, first and foremost when you see those overhead lights come on, pull over right away. Use your turn signal and pull over safely at the side of the road. Just score points that way.

What’s next? When Officer Foul is approaching your car, he is going to try to call things like shot clock violation, traveling, and double dribble. But how do you prevent that? What do you do? Well, you have your license, your registration, and your insurance ready at hand so he can’t claim that you bubbled it, you bopped it, you dropped it, you fumbled it, or whatever he’s going to say about it or you took too long to obtain it. So have it ready at hand in this matchup for your freedom against Officer Foul.

Now, folks, we don’t want any technical fouls for you. Okay? So, when Officer Foul asks you to get out of the car, get out of the car. You don’t want to be tied up with an obstructing official business charge that scores points for the po-po, not you. How do you score points? When that cop tells you to get out of the car, get out of the car to score points.

Sportsmanship is important in this match up with the po-po. Be polite and be respectful, but that doesn’t mean that you have to cooperate. You don’t have to give breath tests, you don’t have to give field tests, you don’t have to give admissions, and you don’t have to say anything. All you need to say is, “Officer, before I say or do anything, I want to talk to Steve Adams.”

Have You Been Arrested for a DUI in Cincinnati, OH?

If you are facing DUI charges, you need to speak with an experienced DUI attorney as soon as possible. Please contact us online or call our Cincinnati office directly at 513-929-9333 to schedule your free consultation.

Steven R. Adams
Steven R. Adams was a criminal defense lawyer dedicated to DUI, OVI, and criminal defense in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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