Good afternoon, my Not Guilty Fans. Remember this: before you pee, talk to me.

Don’t worry about piss and piddle and pee-pee or wee-wee or tinkle or having to take a leak or any of those types of terms because you just simply don’t have to worry about it because you’re going to choose to refuse for the pee-pee po-po.

You’re not going to give them that urine test, why? Here’s why...the problem with the po-po taking a pee-pee test for you or of you, is that when you drink and you collect urine, it goes to your bladder and it just sits there for hours and hours and hours.

So, it’s not really reflective of what your blood alcohol concentration is at the time of driving. Other problems associated with urine testing are that the lid is not properly sealed on the container, the container may not be sterile, there’s a lack of refrigeration, and there’s a microbe called Candida Albicans. Let me repeat that, a Candida Albicans.

Essentially what that does is there’s fermentation that is created within the sample independent of the alcohol that you actually consumed,. Why is that? Lack of proper preservatives, lack of refrigeration, some type of contamination, not enough preservatives in the container, and these Candida Albicans—these bacteria, these microbes—ferment and make their own alcohol inside the urine.

In addition, there can be all kinds of problems associated with the person that handles the samplechain of custody issues. Also, there’s problems with the machines that actually test for alcohol in your urine. You can’t always trust those machines. A lack of proper service and maintenance is frequent in these types of devices that test your urine.

In addition, they typically just store the urine away and don’t preserve it, so you can’t get an independent test of the urine. Folks at National Safety Council Committee on Alcohol and Drugs have concluded that for purposes of analyzing urine to predict or obtain a blood alcohol concentration, that method is to be “discouraged”.

That’s a government agency saying that, so if a government agency says that, you certainly need to choose to refuse and say no-no to the pee-pee po-po.

Steven R. Adams
Steven R. Adams was a criminal defense lawyer dedicated to DUI, OVI, and criminal defense in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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