“Alright folks, the first test that the cop is probably gonna take you through is what’s known as a Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus test, HGN, but I like to call it, ‘Here goes nothing!’ This test is used by neurologists, optometrists, ophthalmologists, and eye doctors in a medical setting to diagnose eye problems, brain dysfunction, and pathological disorders. God help us when cops are doing this test at the side of the road at night. Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus is really defined as an involuntary jerking of the eye as the eyes gaze to the side. It’s kind of like when the police are just panning your eyes out here, they’re gonna claim that your eye bounces. But how can they see that at night? They shouldn’t be doing these tests. By the way in the academy, when they learn how to do a scientific test that was invented by neurologists, they’re actually trained by cops. There are no doctors present, there are no nurses present, there are no eye doctors present. It’s cops that are present. Are they really getting this right?
There are 86 different types of Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus; consumption of alcohol is just merely one of those types. And the fact of the matter is, they don’t know what other medical conditions you may have because they are not doctors and they are not qualified to ask the right questions to determine if you have some other type of Gaze Nystagmus that is not alcohol-related.
Folks, the next test is the walk and turn test. This test is designed to have you walk heel-to-toe nine steps, turn on a line, and walk nine heel-to-toe steps on that line coming back. However, the Government can and will fail you before you ever start walking. Yes, that’s before you ever start walking. Why? Because they have you in a stance like this for about one minute before you even begin the test. And then, if you start a little too soon, they fail you. There are eight clues on this test and if you fail two of the eight clues, you fail their test. So if you lose this balance stance while they’re doing their instructions and your feet break apart, or if you start too soon, you have failed the government junk test before you ever begin to walk on the line, turn, and walk back on the line.
Okay folks, the next test is a one leg stand test. If God created us to stand on one leg, then why did he give us two legs? The answer is obvious! Because we balance on two legs, not with one! So why do cops want your jurors to believe that if we can’t balance on one leg, we’re drunk? Because! It’s Government junk science! Designed to fool everybody! Impression management! When there is no scientific validity at all. And also, even the NHTSA studies, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration have indicated that there is only a 65% probability that the person that allegedly fails this test is going to blow over a .08. Who cares? 65%! That’s a D when I went to school! A D! So, government science gets a D? That’s terrible! Also, the one leg stand test has a negative scoring system. And it’s created by a cop who didn’t even tell you, the test taker, what he’s looking for in his grading system. Is that fair? Oftentimes, I’ll be cross-examining cops and I’ll ask them, ‘So, officer, what are the four clues of the one leg stand test?’ And they sit there on the stand for one minute trying to think of the four clues on the test that they’re giving. Also, NHTSA does not address very important issues like ADD, ADHD, overweight people, elderly people, and middle-aged people. What about mental issues? Most of the people in these studies were in their twenties and most of them were male. They just simply want to capture everyone in one little cup and say you’re guilty!
Another problem with the standardized field sobriety test is the cops do not give you an opportunity to practice. Don’t we recall the saying, ‘practice makes perfect?’ Certainly the cops practice these tests at the academy, day in and day out. They got it down, they know what to look for and they know how to do it. But you, the citizen, the suspect, they’re not going to tell you what they’re looking for, they’re not going to give you the opportunity to practice, they’re not even going to tell you about their grading system! Is that inherently unfair or what? Don’t take these tests! Just simply don’t take them and choose to refuse!”