Narrator: 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town, the po-po was stopping every citizen around. The naughty po-po was stopping my elf because he did not like the way he was presenting himself. Because he looked silly, the po-po thought the elf was drunk. So Mr. Po-Po wanted elf to blow into a piece of junk. The cop asked Elf to take a breathalyzer test. “Sure” Elf said because he thought it was a game.

Elf: Game!

Narrator: And games are the best.

Elf: Yay, I’ll do it! I’ll take it! I’ll take it… That was fun!

Narrator: Elf thought his breath test results were a Christmas gram, but then he realized it was a junk science scam.

Elf: No!

Police Officer: You’ve got alcohol in your breath.

Elf: No, no. That can’t be true. That can’t be true!

Police Officer: Yes, it is.

Elf: You’re sitting on a throne of lies.

Narrator: After eating treats, sweets, pasta, and pizza pies, Elf found out the machine was a big pack of lies. Elf said to the cop, “This machine is broke. I only had pasta, candy, syrup, and Coke.”

Police Officer: You’re in big trouble.

Narrator: Santa stopped delivering breath test machines to the police officer girls and boys because they are nothing but a bunch of junk science toys. Santa warned if they continue to use the breath testing machine “On top of the naughty list, they will be seen.”

Choose to refuse the junk science test. Saying “No no” to the po-po is always the best. Ho! ho! ho! Don’t blow, blow, blow!

Folks, all of us here at Not Guilty Adams wish you and your family a safe and happy holiday. Remember, if you’re stopped by the man, call the man! Have a happy holiday and an awesome New Year!

Are you or someone you know facing DUI / OVI charges? 

If you are facing DUI charges, you need to speak with an experienced DUI attorney as soon as possible. Please contact us online or call our Cincinnati office directly at 513-929-9333 to schedule your free consultation.

Steven R. Adams
Steven R. Adams was a criminal defense lawyer dedicated to DUI, OVI, and criminal defense in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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